Kate has been asking where her Daddy is.
It started last night when the girls were watching a little bit of Chicken Little and Abby mentioned that he didn't have a mummy and asked me where his mummy was. I said that he must of lost his mummy like she had lost her daddy.
Then from Kate, "Where is my Daddy? Where has he gone? I want my Daddy to come back. I miss my Daddy"
And then again in the car today she mentioned that she missed her daddy.
And later when picking Abby up from school she told one of the other mums that it was my birthday and something was said about cake. The mum said,"Maybe your daddy could help you make a cake."
Kate,"I lost my daddy"
:(
Justus3girls
2/20/2009 05:18:00 PM
1 comments
Fear of being happy.
Is there such a thing? Because I think I have it. I'm actually going through a really good stage at the moment but I just can't let go completely and allow myself to be happy.....I think I am afraid that something bad will happen if I actually relax.
Just before Jeff was diagnosed I remember standing in the kitchen washing up some dishes and feeling complete contentment and happiness. We were in love, we had one beautiful daughter and another baby on the way, we also had our own business, one that allowed us a lot of flexibility to be able to do family things together......and then BAM!
Sigh.
We only have now....tomorrow is gone and yesterday not here yet. I have lost so much time with Abby and Kate whilst grieving, now I want to live and enjoy these precious years with them that will be gone all too doon, but it feels just out of reach, like I am almost there but just can't grasp it yet.
Still, it's better than some of the places I have been during this journey, I am grateful for that.
Gotta go, schools almost out:)
Justus3girls
2/16/2009 01:49:00 PM
2 comments
I have learnt that when one has a sore inflamed neck/shoulder muscle, that it is to be ICED. DO NOT put heat on it, that will only make it feel better for the (very) short term but much worse over the long term.
So before my new found knowledge I put on a heat pack, soaked in a hot bath, had hot showers, all in an attempt to ease the ache in my neck/shoulder. The second day I spent the day on the lounge because it hurt to move just the
tiniest bit. That day I actually woke up and thought I wouldn't be able to get out of bed...I did but I had to roll out.
It wasn't until day 6 (!) that my Mum told me she though alternative icing/heating was the right treatment. Ice? Really? So I googled...treatment was RICE....Rest, Ice Compression. Elevation.
What do you know, 20 minutes on and 20 off for 3 hours and wow, I was feeling so much better. And it only improved after that.
Sigh, I wish I'd known that on day 1...I'm so stoopid. And I have no doubt Jeff would have know that.
I guess I'm doing
ok to get to almost 36 and haven't yet had cause to know that treatment...of course maybe I have done it before and at 36 my memory is up the creek...yep that is probably more like it.
Justus3girls
1/17/2009 09:52:00 PM
3 comments
Some photos from my chrissy card photo shoot and some of our decorations can be seen here:
Justus3girls
12/08/2008 09:08:00 PM
1 comments
Justus3girls
12/08/2008 09:01:00 PM
0 comments
F**K!
I just tumbled back down that hole :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
The weekends are just too hard.
How the hell am I going to manage weeks of school holidays?
I'll stay with Dad and Dawn for a week....maybe longer and then with Brian and Mum when they get back from down south in the new year.
Sigh.
:(
Justus3girls
11/29/2008 04:30:00 PM
1 comments
Still here.
Dragging myself out of a hole.
Sigh.
This parenting solo is so tough.
Sigh.
Lots to write but not a lot to write. I'm sure that doesn't make sense to some but it's the same old same old here with the day to day things but lots of emotions and struggling that I could have written about but just didn't feel like it.
Coming to the top of the hole thankfully.
Justus3girls
11/28/2008 05:25:00 PM
0 comments
So Mum came home today....just in time for the Melbourne Cup. She ended up being in hospital for just over two weeks for a very serious case of pneumonia. I didn't want to post about it until she was home and ok. Especially after having her lung punctured last week when they tried to put a central line in.
The girls and I visited her on the weekend and she looked good but it certainly has knocked her about and the doctors have told her it will be another 6 weeks before she is fully recovered.
We also had an emergency rush to the hospital last Tuesday. I woke up to hear Kate in my handbag and playing with an empty packet of paracetamol and an empty one of nurofen. I didn't know if she had taken any. I remember taking some of each the eve of the wedding and it is possible they were empty. That's what I get for A) keeping some in my bag in the first place and B) being too lazy to throw empty packets out.
Anyway, since I didn't know how much she had taken (if any) I was advised to take her immediately to emergency. So it was a mad dash, first waking Abby up and getting some clothes and shoes on her and getting dressed myself too and then driving to the hospital. I took a wrong turn (when I don't have to turn at all, it's a straight run once I am on the main road, but panic muddles your mind). I had to wind my window down at a set of lights and frantically ask the driver next to me for directions.
Once there and after wishing the person in front of me in line would hurry up, Kate's name was called up first and then it was a long wait before blood tests could be done. The doctors didn't think she would have taken the whole sheets full but to be on the safe side they decided to test. As paracetamol peaks after 4 hours, we had to wait until then. Five hours later (long long hours trying to entertain the girls and feeling like a failure of a mother and worrying if Kate was going to be alright) they took some blood. Kate was so good, they wrapped her up in a blanket to keep her still and the nurse and I distracted her from looking whilst the blood was being drawn. She did look a couple of times and her little face looked so frightened. But she was very brave and didn't complain or fuss. Thankfully there was no pain as the area is numbed first.
Then an hour later the doctor walked in and said, "Bloods are all normal, no paracetamol, you can go home now."
And I breathed again.
Justus3girls
11/04/2008 08:17:00 PM
1 comments
